Moving with your Child…

Sooner or later, many families face the prospect of moving. Disruptive as moving can be for parents, the experience can be even more traumatic for kids, who may not be a part of the decision to move and may not understand it. Kids may need some time and special attention during the transition. You can take steps to make the entire process less stressful for everyone. This I understood when I had to make the move myself…..from Mumbai to Green Bay, Wisconsin in USA….

Moving with my four and a half year old toddler I was quite uncertain if I had made the right move…Apart from the stress of 24 hrs of air travel, missing my connecting flight at Chicago, struggling overnight with my son alone at Chicago airport….not knowing where to go my landing in the USA was sure not a pleasant one….That was when I realized how important it is to prepare your child before moving….

I found some of these points very useful :

Discuss the move with your children :

Talking with our children about the move is a matter of top priority. Explain to children at their own level of understanding why you are moving, what the new home will be like, and how they can contribute to the success of the family's relocation.

Encourage them to express whatever feelings they have on the subject.

Accept their attitudes, even if they are negative, and discuss with them your own feelings. Remember that you probably have some misgivings about leaving too, no matter how nice your new situation promises to be.

Above all, be honest. Truth will go a lot further than pretence or made-up stories in preparing children for the move. The strength of the family as a unit will contribute immeasurably to the readiness and confidence with which the children adapt to their new surroundings.

Kids of different ages need a different kind of moving day...

Each child, because of differences in age and life-experience, will view the move differently. Infants, of course, will be least affected. As long as they are comfortable and their normal routine isn't disrupted too much, they won't be concerned.

Pre-school children can pose a real problem. Their sense of identity relies on the parents, the family routine, and several objects that are special to them. This I realized when my four and a half year old started reacting the day I started to pack our bags.

When they see their favourite toys being packed and put away, and their mother rushing about with apparently little time to spend with them, they begin to worry. One of their greatest fears is that they will be left behind.

Let them pack and carry along some of their special possessions. Include them in all the winding up activities especially those which involve their own things like clothes, toys, books etc. Keep them with you as far as possible until the winding up is finished.

Reasons why we move:

We have to bare in mind that whatever the reasons behind it, moving will represent a big change for all members of the family. Emotional fatigue and confusion can cause emotions to run high and tempers to run short. Prior preparation will enable the whole family to better handle the crisis that relocation can precipitate.

Here are some points to make the move easier for the children :

• Take a break with the family as soon as the major unpacking is done once u move to the new place. Don't try to do everything as soon as you arrive.
• Both parents should spend time with the children after the move, listening to what they've learnt about the new school and how they perceive the new environment.
• The first few weeks in a new school may be difficult for your children. Follow their progress closely, and if any problems arise and don't go away with time, don't hesitate to visit their teacher. Accompanying them to school the first few days may ease both their, and your mind.
• Younger children may react to the move by reverting to babyish actions. Try and be assuring, not scolding. They will soon relax and return to normal behaviour.
• Any abnormalities that linger - particularly, physical ones, such as loss of appetite, insomnia, constipation, menstrual disorder - should be referred to a doctor. Explain to the doctor that your family recently relocated. This is very important.
• If you are moving to a radically different environment - caution your children about the new situations they will face.
  
  Even adults find that moving can sometimes be an emotional wrench. How much more then, is it likely to be for children who don't have the maturity, independence, and understanding of a parent? You will move many valuable possessions when you change addresses, but none will be as precious as your children. So go ahead and give them the attention they deserve and need….