Playfulness in Parenting……a talent that grows on you

For some people, parenting seems to come easily. They play, respond to children’s needs, understand children’s feelings and trust themselves. The rest of us need to work at it a bit more. But that’s OK, we don’t have to all be naturals. Each of us can develop those traits that will make us the parents we want to be.

Playfulness in Parenting is a talent that can be nurtured and developed by each one of us in a very special way. It is the first step to exploring how we can nurture The Talents of Parenting within us.

Playfulness is fairly easy when things are going smoothly, when everyone is well-rested, relaxed, healthy, cooperative and not in a rush to get somewhere. Study shows that parents, especially mothers of the 21st century, who juggle between work and home have to go that extra mile to achieve the so called right balance. My own experience as a mother says, Playfulness is much harder when you're racing out the door and your child is dawdling over tying his shoes, when you are trying to get everyone to bed, when everyone is cranky or when you are screaming at your child and your child is screaming at you. In other words, playfulness is hardest when we need it most. Fortunately, all parents can learn to be more playful, even at these tough times. It's a trait that can be nurtured, especially if you are willing to give up a little dignity.Being playful with your child needs a lot of practice. If you have a hard time lightening up, you may need to work a lot at it.

Try making silly faces at the next baby you see. With toddlers, fall down a lot, and make a lot of noise as you topple over. Preschoolers love when you put on a funny hat and play dress-up with them. Even if it feels like you don't know how to "make pretend," do it anyway (you can practice with stuffed animals while the kids are in school!).

Start a pillow fight with 5- or 6-year-olds, and then yell out, "Waaaah, pick on someone your own size!"

Of course, you'll probably feel terribly silly. Don't let that stop you. Playfulness builds closeness with our children, and that's worth a little humiliation, isn't it? After all, it's also embarrassing to be seen yelling, screeching, threatening or pleading with our kids, so we might as well be doing something useful and fun.Playfulness does not mean forcing children to cheer up, in violation of their feelings. It means transforming a situation with a light touch.

So next time your child says, "Will you play with me?" don't make excuses about being too busy; say, "OK!" Then let them show you how it's done. And next time you want to scream and yell, try a little playfulness instead.

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